Getting to the Heart
This year I dug into the Parables of Jesus. The first parable Jesus tells chronologically is the story of the two debtors in Luke 7:36-50. Simon the Pharisee has invited Jesus into his home for a meal when suddenly a woman, who is a known sinner, enters and pours oil on Jesus’s head, kissing His feet as she weeps. Simon is disgusted and Jesus responds by telling him a story of two men who owe a debt, one a large debt and one a much smaller amount. When neither can pay, both debts are forgiven by the creditor. The question put to Simon is, who will love more? Of course the answer is that the one who is forgiven more will love more.
This parable gives us a great opportunity to talk to our children about the difference between rules and relationship, perfection and heart. Jesus isn’t talking about an “amount” of sin in this parable. In talking to a Pharisee, He knew that legalism was his perspective. In his eyes, Simon was the one who owed just a little. Yet, he had actually dishonored Jesus by neglecting to perform the many social customs of hospitality of the day. Isn’t it ironic that the rule-follower wasn’t following the rules as he stood in judgement over the woman who he considered a huge rule-breaker? That’s what legality will do. It puts you in a false position of righteousness when in fact, you’re missing the mark all the more. In another twist, the woman, who should have been hiding in shame, came boldly in meekness and gratitude to worship her Savior. That’s the freedom that comes from a humble heart.
It’s so easy to focus on the right and wrong when dealing with our children. The heart of it all can get lost if we aren’t intentional as their guides to keep grace as the focus. When dealing with my students, I operate out of the understanding that they are human children who are in the precious season of learning and growing. Newsflash- they are going to sin. They are going to make selfish choices. They are going to fail. I am not surprised or put off when it happens! Instead I genuinely see it as an opportunity to get to the heart of the matter and help them see it too. We don’t want legalistic, box-ticking perfectionists. That may look good on the outside but there is no freedom in it and, as Jesus pointed out in His story, no love. We want to raise children who understand grace and that won’t happen if we are pounding our fists on the table telling them to be good. Let’s poke on their hearts instead and remind them why doing good is what is best for them. Let’s get real with them about their feelings and then let’s talk about sin and what it does to them and to others. Let’s help them to be assured that they are forgiven when they don’t do good and foster a real love-relationship with Jesus. Out of the position of being forgiven much, they will love much. They will want to do right. They will care about what God cares about and live secure in His love for them.
In the parable, the last thing Jesus says to the woman is, “Your faith has saved you. Go in peace.” We can set our children up to have faith towards Jesus and be at peace with Him if we teach them out of a heart-motivated, not rule-motivated mindset. I honestly think it is the best way to help them build a foundation that is strong and true. Truly, it is a joy to see this happening in the students at HCA. Another newsflash- they are becoming like Jesus! They make self-less choices! They are getting to the heart!
