Hope in the Struggle
As a mom, it has always been my desire to see my kids reach their full potential. I love watching them go further and fly higher than I ever imagined going. And that’s how I felt this summer when my youngest decided to attempt outdoor rock climbing for the first time. But everything changed in a moment when I saw the wall that she was supposed to climb. To me, it looked like a vertical sheet of glass. From my perspective there wasn’t a single spot for her to grab onto to climb that glacial mountain. A million questions began racing through my head. How was she going to do this? Would it be too hard? What if she failed? Would she be embarrassed? My eyes scanned for the easiest possible climb but honestly, it all looked impossible!
As my mental battle raged on, my daughter settled on a course and waited patiently for an instructor to come and assist her. She may have been nervous but I am sure that I was more nervous. It wasn’t long before she began her climb. One foot here, one hand here and little by little she inched her way towards the top. The instructor guided her movements while we cheered from below. She was doing it! Then suddenly halfway up she reached a stand still. No matter which way she turned, which way she reached, she was unable to move any higher. As the minutes passed, the urge to shout, “It’s ok, honey, you’ve done your best, you can come down now,” grew stronger and stronger. But by some miracle my mouth remained shut. As she hung mid climb, arms growing weaker, I was amazed at how she never gave up. She seemed to know something that I was forgetting: strength is built in the struggle. Like a butterfly emerging from its chrysalis, she was gaining strength. How often has my mama heart compelled me to swoop in to rescue my darling butterfly, to ease her difficulties. Why? Because my heart couldn’t bear to watch her struggle. Now, in hindsight I see clearly that instead of helping her grow strong in these places, I only weakened her.
That day at the rock wall, I didn’t step in to rescue her and I’m thankful. I didn’t encourage her to take the easy way out and instead watched excitedly as my daughter’s story unfolded. She eventually found a spot, be it ever so small, to cram her tiny fingers and toes into and she slowly began to rise again. As she reached the top victorious, I realized we had both learned a lesson. She learned what she was capable of and I learned that the struggle was a gift to embrace not an enemy to fight.
Romans 5:3-4 tells us, “We also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance character, and character hope.” That day at the rock wall, suffering produced perseverance in her, and that perseverance worked character, and that character produced the hope that she can rise above obstacles! She understands now more than ever that she can overcome whatever comes against her. I now understand that my job as a parent isn’t to make sure that the course my kids face isn’t hard. [Stop and read that again]. My job is to help them persevere in the hard; to shout words of encouragement and inspiration as they reach for the heights they were created to climb. Instead of rescuing, I will remind them of their God-given identity and destiny!
Trials will come. The Bible promises us that. Let’s not waste them but instead allow them to work in our children the perseverance, character, and hope that will set them up for success for the rest of their lives. Let’s cheer them on as they climb to new heights! For like the butterfly, they were born for this!
