Custom Jewelry
When I was a little girl, we went to Hawaii on a family vacation. I was in first grade so a lot of the memories have faded, but one that remains is the leis that we wore. Upon arrival, visitors to the island were draped in a lei made of the most beautiful and aromatic flowers. I remember feeling so beautiful and special with my necklace of colorful blooms around my neck. And, oh… the aroma… intoxicatingly sweet. It seemed that my olfactory senses never got enough of that bouquet to stop firing into my nose.
At our hotel, my Mom, sister, and I took a class on how to make a lei. It took time to choose your flowers and to delicately link them to each other with your needle on a string. But we didn't make them for ourselves. We each gave our lei away as a gift of honor and affection by hanging it on the neck of someone there who we loved. I have to say- It's a memory that has never faded. I can see the joy on people’s faces and almost smell the flowers even now.
Hawaiian tradition is that these garlands were worn by ancient Hawaiians to beautify and distinguish themselves from others. When given away, a lei was a sign of peace and affection. Eventually, giving the flower necklaces became a way that islanders welcomed visitors to their islands. To this day, anyone, anytime can wear a lei in Hawaii and it is not uncommon to have a multitude of them adorning a neck as a collection from many givers.
The Message version of a Proverb in the Bible makes a beautiful picture that reminds me of this Hawaiian tradition:
“The right word at the right time is like a custom-made piece of jewelry.” (Proverbs 25:11).
Imagine if it was our custom to drape words onto the people we meet like a lei. We could beautify people with our words and the truth of them would linger as they moved on in their day, the sweetness of their meaning firing love and life into their hearts.
Not flattery. Those fake words would be like plastic flowers, cheap and odorless. I’m talking about taking the time to pick words with real meaning, giving real help to a person. The verse makes a clear distinction: our words must be custom made. Imagine the gift your word-necklace would be! And what if we all were doing it? People could live enveloped with multiple leis of encouragement, clothed in comfort and confidence, swaddled in reassurance, refreshed in hope.
If we could see someone’s heart with our eyes, what would we see? Are they hurting, doubting, angry, offended? Could your words help them to get free? Are they tired or worried? Could your words lead them to peace? Do they need some cheer, faith, or assurance that you could give them with words of love fitly chosen?
I have discovered that when I’m with someone, I can purpose to listen to them and to the Holy Spirit. I can get a sense of what's in their heart from their expressions and their choice of words. It’s actually not hard to do if I shift the focus from myself to them in those moments. And sometimes I just do the simple act of asking. It’s lei-making not rocket-science. From there, I search for well-fitting words that come from my heart to give them. It’s my hope that when we part, these words will stay with them, lifting their spirits as they remember them.
It may take a little extra time out of your day to linger and listen, but what is the alternative? Meaningless talk and a quick goodbye? I don't want to miss an opportunity to use the power of my tongue for good.
Sometimes words are more honest than flowery, feeling more like the thorn on a rose, and they can be the hardest of gifts to give. The very next line in Proverbs says this:
“Like a gold earring and a necklace of pure gold is a wise reprover to a listening ear.“ (Proverbs 25:12).
This is the hardest kind of gift to give. It’s risky to give words of correction that may not be received well. I often stop in these moments and wonder if the risk is worth it. Of course, I don’t want to hurt people with my words. That is never my intention. But I believe that love tells the truth and when I really love people, I have to be honest. It isn’t love to tickle someone’s ears or avoid confrontation, in order to maintain a veneer of friendship with them. I check my heart for motives of course, and then I actually believe I am honoring people when I speak “pure gold” words of reproof.
It is this kind of relationship that I crave with Jesus. I want His words of correction in my life. What an honor to have Him watching over me and speaking to me about what isn’t right so that I can change. And even though it’s difficult at times, I am open to His wisdom coming through the words from the people around me. Because I know that a Father corrects those whom He loves and I am loved by Him! I’ll be a listening ear, tossing away the plastic, worthless costume jewelry, and humbly accept these pure gold gifts to wear.
No matter what, the Bible is clear. Our words matter and we can be intentional about using them rightly. We can all do it! Like landing on the Hawaiian Islands, this could be our custom. Gather up your supply of love-words and life from Jesus. String them together into encouragement-leis. Drape people up and send them off with a custom made piece of word-jewelry, the scent of your well picked words overpowering what they may be feeling or thinking, bringing some healing to their inner man. A lei of words from you could be the best thing that happens to someone today. Anyone, anytime can wear one! Aloha!
“We will make for you golden jewelry to lay against your skin, golden jewelry studded with silver to frame your elegance.” (Song of Solomon 1:11 The Voice).
