My Name is Simon

My name is Simon and I apologize for my demeanor this morning. I’ve been up all night fishing with my partners- I’m a fisherman by trade- and we haven’t caught a thing and I’m exhausted. Not only that but I’m missing a huge opportunity to make some money this morning. Normally there are a lot of people passing by here. See that road over there that the Romans built? It’s a major trade route that connects the east to the Mediterranean Sea. The people that come and go on that road are my lifeblood.

Today there are even more people than usual. They are here because of Jesus. He’s that guy standing way over there with all the people around him. I’ve met him. He was in my town last night healing all kinds of people from all kinds of things. He actually came to my house and healed my mother-in-law. Crazy, right? She was really sick with a high fever and he just said a word and the fever was gone and she jumped up and made us all dinner. It was pretty amazing. I still can’t wrap my head around it. Sat in the boat all night and thought about it. So, yeah, I understand why all these people are here. They have seen what Jesus can do too. 

It’s obvious to everyone right now what I can’t do. Catch fish apparently. I fished all night and my nets are filled with nothing. Two empty boats on the shore for all to see. That’s why I just want to get these nets washed and folded up and get out of here. You get it, right? It’s pretty embarrassing- a fisherman with no fish and the biggest crowd of potential customers I’ve ever seen. I’m just trying to stay out of the public eye over here.

Oh man. Here comes Jesus, walking right at my empty boat. Great. Just in case someone didn’t notice, it’s the center of attention now. He wants to use it to preach from. How can I say no? He was really good to my MIL last night. If I could, I would give him a big basket of fish to say thank you. But I can’t, so I guess I'll give him what I do have- an empty boat. I say “yes, you can use my boat” and give him a push out into the water a little ways while I finish with the nets. 

I’ve never heard anyone talk like he does. He talks about God like he knows him personally, like he and God are the same person or something. And he makes everyone feel like they belong which is strange because we’re Jews and we never feel like we belong anywhere. In the synagogue the priests talk like we don’t belong. They are perfect and the rest of us can never do anything good enough to be right with God.

I try really hard to be a good person but I end up spending a lot of money on sheep and goats to get my sin covered up. When I get in there and the ritual is complete, it feels so good for a second, ya know? I wish I could stay in that spot where I’m all clean for just a little longer. I want to savor that moment where my heart is pure and I feel close to God before I step away and back into life where I mess it all up again. ‘Cause when I do, I have to walk around condemned until I can get the money and the time to go back to the temple and do it all again. It’s a cycle I just can’t get free from. 

Hear him? He’s saying things about a Kingdom and an inheritance for us. That’s new! Well, my empty boat isn’t getting me anything today or for the future, that’s for sure. 

Wait. He just said, “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.” We were just talking about that! How could he know that's how I feel? Man, it’s like he can read my mail. I know he is here for all of these people but it sure feels like he is talking to me. 

My nets are clean and folded now and I kind of want to get out of here but I also can’t stop listening to Jesus. My body is aching and tired from fishing but my heart is pounding with excitement at the same time. Jesus is saying some hard things but I like it actually. He says things like- love people when it’s hard and forgive people when they hurt you. I’m a people person. I like people and I want them to like me too. But I’ve got to admit- forgiving is rough for me. Man. He really cuts to the core with the things that he says.  

When the Pharisees talk, it’s a bunch of crap. They judge us for everything we do but I watch them and they are such hypocrites. They don’t love people. They don’t forgive. They aren’t anything like the God they tell us to serve. They pray loud prayers about how great they are and how they are so glad they aren’t like everyone else. They make it sound and look like serving God is so hard to do and their faces are so miserable. Who would want to follow them? 

Look at that crowd. If I had fish in my boat, I would make a fortune today. Two boats filled to the rim with fish wouldn’t be enough to feed all of these people! I really blew it. What am I going to do now? I have mouths to feed and bills to pay. Huh? What’s that Jesus is saying? “Do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink.” How could he possibly know that I was just worrying about exactly that? 

Every word he says feels like it’s alive. 

I can’t get past this feeling that he is doing all of this just for me. That’s crazy though. I’m not that important.

What did he say? “Launch out into the deep and let down your nets for a catch.”

I’m transfixed on this man, speaking now directly to me. My mind is saying that he is being ridiculous. He’s a carpenter not a fisherman. This time of day, with that hot sun overhead, is exactly the wrong time to fish. My back is aching and my stomach is growling. My body is saying go home and sleep. My emotions are the loudest of all. Fear is telling me to run. The entire crowd is looking at me, seeing this proposition that Jesus has given me and knowing that I am a failure thus far. No matter how much I try to stay off to the side and hide, this guy just zeros in on me all the more. 

My heart is telling me to go for it. With one word he can heal. I’ve seen it. But not only that, I’ve felt it. His words somehow transcend normal parameters. He got into my head. He heard my thoughts and he spoke right to me. It’s like he has known me all my life.

He said we would get a catch and I think I believe it. Well, I believe it enough to put out one net. I’m not going to waste the rest of my day folding them all back up again. But I will risk one.

“Master, we have toiled all night and caught nothing; nevertheless at Your word I will let down the net.”

We head out to deeper waters and the net goes down. I can see something is happening below. The sun is shining brightly and yet the water is getting darker and darker beneath me. Wait. It’s fish! Hundreds and hundreds of fish are gathering, seemingly on purpose, into my net. It is suddenly so full that the tight ropes are starting to snap in places! I guess he knew what he was asking when he said “nets” because one is just not enough!

“Andrew! James! John! Bring your boat and get out here!” 

It seems like it is all happening so fast but at the same time I feel like time is standing still. Jesus is smiling at me and laughing with joy as he helps hold the breaking net. I can’t help but laugh too. We pull in the net and get all the fish in the boats. 

Two boats. Filled to the rim with fish. So much that they are literally sinking.

Who is this man that knows every thought in my head? Who speaks words that heal and command fish to gather in nets? He is more than just a man. I know that now. He is God. And I am standing here so close to Him! Who am I that He would want to be in my boat today? I’m a nobody, a failure, a sinner. 

“Depart from me, for I am a sinful man, O Lord!” I say as I fall to my knees. 

But the look in His eyes isn’t judgement or rejection.

“Do not be afraid.”

His look penetrates my soul and a love that I have never felt before crashes over me. My mind knows that I don’t deserve it but my heart is flooded with it. With each wave, I feel accepted. I feel forgiven. I feel worthy somehow, like I matter to Him. I feel free.

“From now on you will catch men.”

In a flash I think of all the people in my life and how much I want them to feel this feeling, to know this God Man. I look around at the multitudes looking at me and I want them to know Him too. No more dead end cycle of religion for people. I want them to feel what it’s like to be free.

Suddenly, these boats full of fish mean nothing to me. 

That is not my future. That is not my lifeblood. Whatever Jesus has to offer, wherever Jesus goes, that is the life for me. Jesus came and met me right where I was at, in my failure, in my lack, in my false mindsets and my weaknesses. He called me to faith. He called me to risk believing in Him and in myself. He loves me. He is making me strong. He is making me new!

Hi my name is Peter. Help yourself to some free fish. There is plenty for everyone. See that man over there? His name is Jesus.

Let me introduce Him to you!